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Sunday, November 19th, 2006
8:20 pm
so its another lame sunday night. the weekend was ok though because there was an awesome bbq at mels with some of her parent's friends. these are people who melany knows only when she was young and her parents havent seen then for a few years. good food, good drink... yum!

on other fronts, melanys visa. shes gotta be in the states with it before may 1, 2007. so that means we are both going back before that date, woo! some time in early or mid march is what we are shooting for, so thats exciting. not long til then, but mel wants to go yesterday :)

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Thursday, November 2nd, 2006
8:12 pm - american, ho!
HOLY SHIT!  melany got a residency visa for america!  this puppy allows her to live and work in the usa... permenantly!  viva the diversity lotto, eh?

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Monday, October 16th, 2006
6:53 pm - snowboarding on the mountain
after going with melany a few times to snow planet for a board, i finally got to go with her to the turoa ski field!  so damn good!  we went on saturday morning to meet up with her boarding mate, tony.  i was a bit on edge because i didnt think id be able to do any good, since im not as good as mel at boarding.  i quickly found that the open slopes were perfect because there is so much room to move and have a blast!  

tony brought his mate, rule (i wish i knew how to spell it the right way), and we all got along well.  we stayed at a backpackers in town and spoke with people from various places around the world.  there was a small group of ladies from malaysia (i think?) and rule is quite good with the language, so he and this girl got on quite nice.  well enough to get her number the morning we left, although he is already quite involved with his significant other :)

at any rate, it was an awesome trip and im so glad i got to go down.  we only went boarding the one day, because the montain was closed on sunday from weather.  shitty that its pretty much the close of the season, so its only the planet until next season.

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Tuesday, October 3rd, 2006
7:34 am

stumbled upon that recently.

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Thursday, September 14th, 2006
10:28 pm
cant believe its thursday already! just gotta take care of things tomorrow and then it should be better. i still have stuff here and there and no real time to pack what i need to. i almost started gettin into packing stuff this morning before i left for work. i should have and just not gone in. but im just getting freaked out as deadline comes near. that too shall pass :)

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Monday, September 11th, 2006
9:25 pm - stop the presses?
so its only been what, 18? 19 years since i lasted posted? yeah, something like that. you'll notice that the posts stopped almost right after i transfered to the other theatre. that may be because i actually have heaps of shit to do other than sit on my ass all day and post to my journal.

in other news, the chapter that was THE GROTTO has seen its last page and the new chapter is about to be written. not that the next chapter is gonna be as exciting, but oh well. the worst part is that mel has already left the grotto to go back home. now i get to live with four strangers and have a little box of a room as my own. no more, no less. hopefully they will be easier to deal with than the canadian above.

this new place im gonna be living in is about 2km from work, which is good since i have no car. having the bus as my only transport is bad cause its $6 to get to town, $6 to get back and almost impossible to go visit mel when i want to. add to that the storage i have to rent every month cause our couch, fridge, washer/dryer, table and whatever else cant move with me cause i only have a tiny box of a room to call my own.

but theres no reason to bitch, this is how it is. sucks that melany isnt around all the time, but i get so happy when i see her, and shes happy to see me too. so thats good! just gotta get my shit together and do stuff that im interested in. things that make me happy, cause ive forgotten how to be interested in life. she was my life, in the way that she was always there. shes not around as much, so i have to find a way to fill the void. tricky.

crazy, five years since the towers went down. hmm.

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Tuesday, April 4th, 2006
4:32 pm - the world and existance
this topic has been surfacing alot lately and its kind of weird. i know its not all substance induced either because it has been coming from outside sources as well. the whole topic of our place in relation to everything blah blah blah.

i think we worry about it because it could affect us one day and no one wants to anything bad to happen to them. by "it", i mean what the world could do to us one day. we think we have control over this world, but it has control over us. and in case you had not noticed, we need it alot more than it needs us. thats the main thing we never seem to grasp. we all wanna save the planet, but its been around a hell of a lot longer than we have and it will be here long after we are gone, so who needs to save what again?

so yeah, global warming, oceans rising, make way for the next ice age. no need to worry or try to fix anything, its all gonna sort itself out eventually. thats something we all need to start dealing with and accepting.

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Monday, April 3rd, 2006
5:40 pm - its work time!
had my first shift at botney today. it was a bit more hectic than i thought it would be. lots of close show starts and print moves make for a busy day. no more starting four flicks and sitting down for an hour crap. makes me feel a bit more engaged in things... not so useless. but then again, its only been my first day.

mel thought it would be good to have a bbq tonight. tony is all moved in and he brought his charcoal grill as well. really we should prolly be movin' shit around, but a bbq would be much more fun! mmm... sausages and corn on da cobb.

oh yeah, and something else... I LOVE YOU, MELANY! you make me ooze with yummy happy!

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Thursday, March 30th, 2006
4:19 pm - it is getting better
so we are still able to hold things together for the mo. neither of us really wants it to end, but at the same time, neither of us know how to get it to where we want it yet. spose it just takes time.

our friend tony is getting booted out of his flat tomorrow because his landlord hates him. thats not the real reason, but she's being a cunt none the less. we have offered him a room to stay in at our place until he gets things sorted. thats what mates do. a happy little flat with me in the smallest "room" (the weird little wardrobe/storage area for the master bedroom), tony in the spare room and melany in the big room. we commence with the restructuring and cleanup tonight. woo!

i just got back from sending off my 2005 federal tax forms. i cant wait to get that fat, $17 refund. yeah!

and finally, its important to remind myself that i am to start work at yet another location in the berkeley family. thursday april 6 will mark my transfer to the botney downs cinema. features include: work in a high-volume theatre, increased pay (only by a tiny bit) and increased work load. i guess thats ok since i should feel like im doing something rather than sitting around all day.

so all in all, it is getting better. just took freakin ages, but thats life for ya.

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Friday, March 24th, 2006
4:34 pm - ive won. u hav given up. i knew u wuld.
yes, you have won. the more i care, the more you go away. the less i care, the more pissed off you get. everyone has screwed you over and now its your turn to call the shots and to be free. oh, but you have always been able to do that. doesnt matter i suppose. i love how you demand your things back, like YOUR car. as if somehow i have forgotten that its yours. is that supposed to evoke pain, anger and fear into me?

all that shit doesnt matter though. im doing what you want me to do because its all i know how to do anymore. i do as im told and thats that. you want to be rid of your life and im included in that. i am not special. i am not a unique and beutiful snowflake. i am not your fucking kahakis.

i realize now that i was never enough for her. i realize that i never gave her enough of me, that i held back for some reason, or was too lazy to be involved with all of her. and now shes gone. i have squandered something that could have been great. this has happened because i forgot. forgot who i was and who i should be. and now she has been damaged again. i am sorry for your loss.

my only regret about coming here is that i was too lazy to try and be a better person. she taught me many things about myself on an emotional level, but i never applied that enough to us. ive drifted through life. ive drifted through my job. ive drifted through her. ive let her down and theres nothing i can do to make it right.

i hope and beg that one dayin the future that i can find her again. that we can both find eachother in a better state, in a better time.

your room in my heart is there when you need it, anytime you need it. the door is open only for you, no hour is too late for you to drop by and say hi. i love you and i will miss you terribly.

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Tuesday, March 7th, 2006
3:34 pm - quit taxing oscar
things are slowly getting put back right, but i know ive learned alot. we love and we hate, sometimes at the same time, but i like where its all at for the time being.

i submitted my two weeks notice at de fontain yesterday. ive only been there for a couple months, but it feels like forever. its just been to much to deal with when i have a full-time job that starts early every morning. i dont feel bad about it at all.

im trying to get my federal income taxes sorted. i have to get my actual w-2's from da states and i have to file an extra form. the form just lists my forign earned income. i figure i better be straight with the government so that i can save myself the trouble of something else later. better safe than sorry.

the 78th annual oscars were on last night. i have to say i wasnt impressed. i was surprised it was on the air here though. jon stewart seemed to make things a bit more akward than funny. sadness.

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Friday, March 3rd, 2006
4:01 pm
ugg i never make the time for updating. then again, i dont usually have much to ramble on about in the first place. another weekend starts tonight. i feel like im living weekend to weekend and it gives me a sense of blllaaaahh. yes, just like that. but then again, what else is there to do? working all though the week only gives rise to its end. although theres not much end when i have to work at my other job on saturday. im not really liking that job anyway lately. i think i will quit soon. its a bar and restaurant and i get no added benefit of any of that cause everything is full price, no matter if you are a patron or staff. so whats the use. ive been offered a position at the theatre at botney downs doing what im doing now. might take it, might not. we shall see. other than that, see you in town!

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Tuesday, February 21st, 2006
4:11 pm - excess is excessive
this weekend past was to be for celebration of my birthday... since i worked the weekend of my birthday. elektrode was on sat the 18th and it was pretty much like last month. think theres a pic of mel and i that was captured, have to check though. marc and max checked it out, but they left maybe an hour after we arrived. paul was there, but he was sad and left before 1 or 2. karyn was there and she stayed out for a while, even though she was tired as hell. the night wasnt as hard as it coulda been, but it was ok. we wanted to go down the road a bit to this gig tony was at, but we couldnt get in.

i spoke to this lovely lesbian couple that had ment to check out elektrode, but got there when the small crowd had almost thinned to nothing. maria is prolly my age, from wisconsin, been here for about 18 months, came here to be with her gf who she met off the net. sounds familer. i forget her gf's name at the mo, cause i suck with names. karyn knows maria apparently, so we will prolly bump into them this weekend. its good to meet coo peeps.

i think our weekend to weekend merriment is starting to slip into a daily routine soon. i can feel it coming. i feel it would be best to isolate myself from this, as its too easy to go along with someone else who wants all the time. its fun, dont get me wrong, but cost and my well-being are more important to me at present.

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Monday, February 13th, 2006
5:41 pm - sobriety tests = no joke
i was given quite a fright over the weekend as i drove home in the wee hours of saturday morning. after a some drinking over a 2 or 3 hour period, i was stopped at a random breath screening at the symonds st. on-ramp for the motorway home. heart racing, i spoke my name and address at the officer's hand-held device and failed. i then had to blow into a tube for a deeper probe of my blood/alcohol content. i blew and i failed for the adult level. at this point i am freaking out because i didnt know what was gonna happen to me. i think the officer figured i was ok to drive and was quite kind because she waited a few minutes and was gonna re-test me. i blew again and failed, but only failed the youth limit. since im over 20 i was good to go. SO FREAKIN LUCKY! kids, dont drink and drive :)

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Thursday, February 9th, 2006
2:22 pm - that time of the year
another year of life completing makes way for a new one to begin. aint that grand. the 9th, which is today for me, marks such an occation. the second of such an even that has happened away from my home country. i dont really feel older, but i do find myself going through various mental states more often than when i was back home. i find i am on a quest to discover whats most important to me and where to go next in life. being away from what i have always known for this long is really making me question things. such as, im 27 now... shouldnt i be doing something that im going to be proud of at 28? at 29? at 30? back at 22 or 23, 30 didnt even exist. i know i have to get motivated for something now that its around the corner. im really missing home and the person i once was. i really want to go back, but i fear that ive been gone too long and all that ive known is gone. like ive lost touch with my past.

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Tuesday, January 24th, 2006
1:48 pm - grab your gravers
cause its time for elektrode ( http://www.deathelektro.com/elektrode )! the music was pretty decent and the dress was kinda cool. not many people there though. prolly woulda been extra sweet had more been there, but ya can only do so much i guess. our flatmate danny did a dj set for a half hour and it was good. our friend paul was tearin it up with his awesome striped shirt and sport coat. we didnt stay long, but it was good to finally check it out. perhaps we shall return next month. hmmmmmmm.

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1:27 pm - yeah! big day out 2006
in order of apperance... gerling, pluto, city newton bombers, the living end, sleater-kinney, the go! team, soulwax, kings of leon, shihad, franz ferdinand, iggy and the stooges, the white stripes. those are the bands that i saw part or all of. the tough part about an all-day music fest is choosing what bands to see. its extra tricky when there are seven stages. so i took part in what i thought would be good and it was. not as good as last years line-up (beastie boys and chemical brothers are tough to beat), but still pretty good. iggy pop was off da hook for his bit. makin sweet love to the amps on stage, wanking a microphone and crowd surfing were just some of the things that he did. damn sweet!

our flat is quite close to the venue (20 minute walk), so a group of friends either stayed thursday night or arrived friday morning for the journey. couldnt have asked for a better day, what with the puffy cloud spotted sky and brilliant sunshine all day long, it was great! grapefruits were thrown, it was that exciting.

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Wednesday, January 18th, 2006
3:25 pm - change on the homefront
much to melany's joy, we have a temporary flatmate at the grotto. a friend of a friend and someone we say "hey" to every now and then at the local metal bar. danny, originally from the UK, got booted from his last place and is crashing here for a bit while he finds someplace else. its pretty coo cause he is here for a one year exchange for his schooling in his 3rd year. for only being here six months, he does firedancing, travel and knows heaps of people. how inspiring. his dad just arrived (as in just a few min ago) from the uk for a wee visit. bitchin! the second job is good and the extra cash is nice to have. big day out is in two days and the pre-night party is at the grotto. me, being and idiot, forgot to request off work at de fontain, so im gonna be at the party late. but i will be on time for the pre-morning jam. the joys of work and social times. in other news, i got my new zealand drivers license about a week ago. im now entitled to drive here for the next 10 years. although i need to get a new one already because they put in my birthday wrong for here, but correct for the states. silly date formats.

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Tuesday, January 3rd, 2006
3:14 pm - second new year in NZ
beholding the entry of 2006 here was good cause its almost tradition in a way. i bottled some brew before we went to the shore to hang with marc and max. some others were there when we arrived, but they soon headed off to town. we hung out for a while and then set off to devonport to check out the fireworks from sky tower.

last year, i saw this display from the back of mini's car in the middle of town. so to see it from a vantage point well outside of town was refreshing. the strong winds on the beach were cold, but it was good to be with the people there.

we didnt stay out too long before coming back to marc's. then we just headed off for home. a quiet new year compaired to last year, but just as fun. i even sent my mom a text saying, "happy 2006 from new zealand!", since we like to do everything here in the future.

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Thursday, December 29th, 2005
4:28 pm - first xmas in NZ
it was good to have an extra long weekend for christmas and not have to work over the holiday as well. it wasnt so good for melany, however. last thursday night she felt feverish and a bit weird overall. the next day she felt worse and it went on through xmas. seems she had some sort of hardcore bacterial infection in her small intestine. way more hardout than just a touch of food poisoning. shes only just starting to have relief from her painful symptoms. and because of all that she will have a muted new years eve.

but other than all that, things are peachy. we got some cool stuff for our flat from the rents, such as a cordless phone and sushi service. all in al a good time. just waiting on a box that my mom sent from the states. im thinkin its more stuff for the flat, but im not complaining :)

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